still running around….

making my vacation count. I’m Bobette vila up in here in the mean time more of my fearless wonderchild…

vacation is a trick statement

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Originally uploaded by raquita.

Running around too willy nilly right now – will post soon! Untill then here is my wonder child!

One and one equals

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Originally uploaded by raquita.

Friends.

I got a chance to hang with Jaelithe and her wonderful family at the festival we always seem to run into each other at. And what a wonderful family they have.. and they were so together.. once I blog how totally out of it we were you will understand why I was so in awe of a mom who remembers the diaper bad. yeah it was that kind of day.

Issac is a joy to be around. they kind of yin and yang, Cammy is fearless, as J pointed out but issac is more calm, and sometimes calm would be nice. And and a family unit they were jsut the cutiest. Did I mention her husbands shirt was a few levels of awesome.

but Jaelithe is the kind of mom i always aim to be. Thoughtful and so aware of him. her are a few pictures until I can actually blog my long arsed day.

umm. Why can’ t you pick your family? selective genetics, is soemthing we should probably invest in…. will that resolve stupid?

Yesterday, wasn’t the best day.

I’m not really prone to grudges, and tit for tat exchanges. But sometimes I find myself on the opposite side of the do unto others as you would have them do unto you. You know doing unto others as they have done unto me.
And I hate that. I really do.
For example. I have a relative who unless he needs you – you can’t find him. Need him to wait for a delivery, or help move something, select any minor request and insert here -  he’s ghost like Patrick Swayze. But let him need gas money or a place to crash or anything at all and you couldn’t shake him with with an earthquake.
Then there is the relative who has no respect for people, or a persons things. I don’t like leaving him alone in my house cause I never know what he’s gonna “borrow” until I see it at his house.
The first relative I simple had to say, hey- I don’t have it for ya.
The second one I had to curse the hell out.
And I hate that.
But he royally pissed me off.
And he had it coming.

On top of that. My dad is sad.
And that sucks kinda royal. I hate for my dad to be upset. He doesn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve the way he was treated (totally separate than the two knuckle heads listed above) and even if things work out I don’t know that I would want it to.

And I have to buy that paint sprayer after all. E-1 you still down on that?  

But its Friday, the first day of my vacation (which starts at 5 p.m. today) and that totally rocks.

Gotta find the silver lining, hold on to it and use it as jump rope.

So I never felt this way about lovin…

No reason for the Brian McKnight reference, Jerry mentioned the song this morning and now I can’t shake it.

So I got my first issue of This Old house via the mail today. I watch that show a lot, TOH as it is commonly referred to by people who watch it a lot, is right up our alley, because our house is certainly old.  I also upgraded our cable a few weeks ago for the sole purpose of getting the DIY channel and the Fine Living channel, since I plan on doing both I figured it was an investment and I have learned a lot about what I can expect in the renovations of our home.
One of the shows I watch a lot is the DIY rescue show and the guy who hosts that has a blog and he answers questions. And it is so cool, cause he, or somebody, really answers them. And it really helps. They give thoughtful complete answers. And that rocks.
My vacation starts tomorrow at five p.m. sharp. Thus I plan on going totally Bob Vila all up in that piece.

I told my friend I really didn’t think it was gonna work out, him staying with us, and I will give him my final no today. I tried to change our mind, but its not the right thing for us at this time. Honestly it really has very little to do with him. But people never believe you when you say that. It almost feels like a break up, he came by last night to pick up something he left at the house and he was very ‘you kicked my dog’ sad, mumbled and left with out a good bye.
Sometimes it makes me wonder what kind of friend would let you risk your marriage to get them out of a tight spot.  I know they don’t do that intentionally, but they don’t not do it when it starts to happen either.
It also made me realize Jerry and I have a very strong solid relationship, but every boat rocks, and we must put on a pretty good front cause I got the distinct feeling he didn’t believe me when I said we need to work on us. Why does it matter what he thinks or thought? It doesn’t, but it is really fascinating how easily people get to a “the grass is greener” mentality. For me my grass is emerald green and it can’t get any greener some where else. We make enough fertilizer during the rainy season that the fading spots don’t stay that way for long, and we get more than enough sunshine to keep it growing well and looking good. If I had to relate relationships to gardening, we’d be that lady who spent as much of her time out in her garden as she could. So much so that people wonder if she neglecting the cat.

Anywho going to pickup that paint sprayer today, and I was thinking I wonder if my hubby would let me do some graffiti on that brick wall… what do you say sexy?

Love Thursday

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Originally uploaded by raquita.

You know all this talk about best friends leaves me thinking about who your friends really are. And hands down without a category my sister is my best friend, (husband withstanding) she and I are more alike than either of us would care to admit, we are just severe opposites in how we display those simularities.

for instance -
we are both dog people however her dog weighs eight pounds, my dog weighs eighty.

we are both very particular about security in relationships (we both carry mild scars from our parents divorce) she however is comforted by different secuirties than I am, she is a homebody most days and her home is a santuary not a lot of guests, my home is my santuary however I have a revolving door of guest, (somedays shes way smarter than me too)

I hope that I am as good an Aunt to her children as she is to mine. Cammy and her are way alike in so many ways.

you know how they say God offers payback in the form of your sister as your daughter. Honestly I can’t think of a better blessing.

I think I’m gonna call my sister and make some plans to visit her.

breaking patterns

I am a bleeding heart.

I know this. I am aware. I have a save the world mentality. I hate to see people I know in any kind of difficulty. I want to help every thing and everybody. When I was a kid, I was known on occasion to give my tithing money to the guy on the corner, what I didn’t spend on candy mind you. I brought home every stray imaginable. I begged my mom in high school to let my best friend stay with us when her family was having problems, and she did, for six months. My home for as long as I can remember has been a place of refuge for friends and on occasion strangers. My first apartment, at one time housed Tim and then Valerie, friends from community college. Then there were the co workers from waitressing, who need a place to crash. Then I got into poetry and then the poets came, and any one who had a chap book or a CD and a good delivery could call through a network of poets started by Lamar Hill (so another story), could sleep on my couch for the duration of a cycle – the first poetry event of the week to the last one, as many as seven poets at a time have been in my home, probably in the area of thirty or so individual poets have graced my doorway. Most multiple times. I have taken old ladies home waiting for cabs at the grocery store. I have picked up moms with a kid in the rain and gone out of my way to take them where the bus would have. I have given my last dime to buy a guy a meal. I have worked for free at a for profit bookstore, because I didn’t want the poetry night to end.

I tell you all of this not because I want to impress or I need validation but because I need you to understand how hard what I have to do is.

My best friend is in trouble. It is of his own making. A series of blatantly stupid and just plain bad decisions have left him with out a place to stay.
Those of you who read or have read my entries previously know this is not new for us. We are just getting our home back from the last time it turned into a youth hostel. Spoken is comfortably in her apartment, Rock and Dwayne are currently in apartment, and John has moved back in with his mother. It has only been about three weeks since all has gone back to normal. People leave our home at some point during the evening, even if its after we go to bed.
Our house is quiet save for our own noises. And it has been wonderful. My husband and I are repairing the stress marks that time caused, one day at a time. God blessed us, there were no breaks in our armor, no cracks in our foundation, but heavy stress marks remain, like plastic bent just to the point of breaking. Our lives have gotten no less stressful, his mother issues (see his blog) our financial stresses, the house – which isn’t stressful yet, but its renovation – the stress will come. Cammy’s schooling, getting her into school, and then paying for that school.
Then my friend makes the request. Asks if he can stay for a while.

And I have to say no.

Against every pull in my heart to make it work, I can’t sacrifice my marriage to help any one else. And it would be. Neither of us want to admit it, but it would. I can not sacrifice my sanity to help anyone else. Not until we are better and more comfortable, and healed from the last time. And to be totally honest I don’t want to be anything less than my husbands safe harbor, he needs to know that our family is my number one priority, and that I have focused my energy on that long list of stresses previously mentioned. I can’t help him resolve his bad decisions by making one myself.

That being said my dad found a paint sprayer so I can get some more work done upstairs, which totally rocks, my dad he totally rocks too, alot like my husband, my dad is.

But the rest of this sucks.
It sucks hot sweaty monkey balls.
Seriously.

Cause Saturday was so good we did it again…

The sexiness I call my husband has thus posted about the adventures of the wall and the wonton, which we happened to repeat last night.

Why mess with a good thing?

We just gotta get to doing this stuff earlier, cause we didn’t make the wontons until like ten thirty… which means my lovey dovey kid was KNOCKED OUT. And would be very upset to know she missed the newest addition to the wonton night menu, Crab Rangoon. They are her favorite thing to eat as of late. She takes a bite out of the center and just sucks the creamy cheesy crab filling out never failing to make her self a gooey mess.  Never fear, I kept six them to fry this evening for her goo sucking pleasure. Cause that’s the kind of mom I am.
She ate a faithful back up of Pizza rolls, grapes and cheese for dinner. And she really at it. Which is a welcome change. Cammy is a picky hearty eater. If you can find what she actually wants to eat she eats with gusto, if not – not so much.  I happily worked on Cammy’s new bed room some more. Got the purple on the walls.
Honestly we were backed up because we went and got that stove yesterday. (yippie!) it was such a dramatic experience (too many chiefs not enough Indians) that it took some of the happy happy joy joy right out of it. No matter. We got home, I cleaned the living room (this is a major thing) and then went straight up stairs to get a few coats of paint on the walls. Its slowly becoming exactly what I want it to.
I have made arrangements so on Friday we’ll get that infrared paint thingy to help me remove the paint from all the base boards. (I kinda wish I had painted all the walls before I started this but, no matter!) and a friend is interested in splitting the cost on a paint sprayer, while my husband is all about the faithful and loyal paint roller. Easy for him to say, since he’s not been ANYWHERE near a paint brush thus far. However, I will admit, I don’t mind doing the painting, home repair and maintenance is right up my alley, it makes me feel really good about owning my home. Makes me feel very useful, and productive. So this weekend I expect to get BIZZAY! and really get a large dent done in my work around the house.

Since that wall thing is working out to our advantage maybe we’ll get upstairs sooner than we thought.

I need to do some before and after pictures soon. Before its all after.

A weekend close to full…

Friday, we were running late, that being the case, I got a day off rather than take a attendance hit at the job. Hated to do it, but it happens. So I spent the morning at Barnes and Nobel drooling over cookbooks and making notes for my bakery menu.  There was a story time that made my heart ache that I didn’t have Cammy with me. I got up three different times to go and get her, but

1. I never would have made it back before the story time was over,
2. I never take time just for me, so I did.

You would not believe the guilt you can feel just by not having you kid available for a story time you didn’t know about.
Any who I got Jerry from work early and we went to Home Depot with Spoken, who also got her couch today at her new apartment, and picked the paint for Cammy’s new room upstairs, looked at cabinets and hardwood floors. You know the best part of this whole home project, I think, it’s working with Jerry. The best part of my day was spending that few hours with him, being a silly married couple.
Then we went to the check out a bakery supply store I have heard good things about, they gave me a recipe for edible fondant, and I bought some pastry tips and icing colorings. We went to a few home stores, and had a pretty nice day before we went to pick up Cammy. Then we went to the science center. And Oh. My. God. It was so good to watch Jerry turn into a kid with Cammy, they just ran and ran and ran all over the place. She has a complete ball and so did he.

Pictures forth coming.

My Saturday was involved. J’s cousin who hangs out a lot, was with out A/C so she hung with us. Although she probably would have been there if her air was working. I like having a girl friend, and Jerry like having some family of his own so it works out.
Anywho we went to visit my dad, and yank his miter saw, a crow bar, some saw horses, a sander, and a stud finder. That’s right baby I’m about to go Bob Vila on your arses!!
He also gave me his target card to go get Cammy some new stuff, which I did happily. We got the letters we had been trying to get our hands on, as well as the music instruments and two Ryan’s room toys (thanks Chelle for the heads up) the little people preschool play set, it was like Christmas in August. My dad is the total coolest. WE stopped by barnes and Nobel and this time Cammy was there we played with Thomas the tank engine, for a while, she is really into those, I am currently hunting up some used ones. Gonna start making my rounds at garage sales and see what I can make happen. Then we went home and got to work – on dinner.
Jerry and I decided that this was experiment Saturday and we made Won tons, and won ton soup. Man it was SO GOOD. This was mostly my husband as I played the role of sus chef and helped him chop, slice and dice.
Played Uno, with my zany friends again until the wee hours of the morning. Sunday morning we made a fruitless attempt to pick up the stove then had a little lunch and I baked some cupcakes. Not bad – not great but not bad. I gotta practice. I also got going on the painting in Cammy’s new room upstairs. I got the pink on the wall with no problems, washed the base boards, putty’d the holes from nails , patched the giant holes from the door knobs and took a look at all the things I’m sure we are gonna have to work on. While I was painting, Jerry decided he was gonna swing that sledge hammer I picked up a few weeks back, and decided to see what was behind that wall. And what mind you was back there?

Brick.

Just plain old, naked brick. Not a frame, not a insulated anything, just a lot of bricks. Somebody slapped some mortar on it and then some plaster over that. So now I’m thinking, we should leave the brick exposed, cause I like exposed brick, always wanted to have some in my bed room, and now I have the opportunity, ironically at a cost of WAY LESS THAN EVERY BODY WAS TRYING TO CHARGE US. Shoot, lets break down the cost.
Sledgehammer – 30.00 – I got the one with the fiber glass handle.  
Indoor Satin polyurethane –  at most 39.00 per gallon may need three to five gallons
Paint gun rental 75.00
Paint for walls – 100.00
Total = 322.00 best case 400.00 worst case.

Vs. minimum quote per contractor – 600.00 plus supplies
And maximum quote – 5000.00 total job cost including labor. I almost laughed when they gave me that one.  

Yeah, I’m lovin exposed brick.
Yeah it’s a little crumbly, and it needs some work, but I think it has character.

Anywho, I may most again later… maybe not.

because two posts in one day isn’t ever enough

I’ve found a new blog source for me as a mommy, simply called mommyblogger.com and it seems to be filled with like minded mommies, i.e. mommies who are trying to be supportive and available to other moms out there. Mommies like me who just want to know somebody else is there and that somebody gets it. That the people who watch and enjoy Paris Hilton are not the majority, thus proving it was not a major mistake bring children into this world.
That nifty little site has taken me to visit with CityMama who had this totally nifty post reprinted there. She totally rocks.

Seriously

So, take a minute to visit with her and check her out. I thought I’d share.

Also to anyone who’d like to know, should you desire NOT to reproduce – and you’ve come to this decision the morning after you can now buy the morning after pill over the counter. Nifty. Lo and behold something that would be your god given right if men gave birth is now available to women.
Anywho, I was supposed to be on vacation next week but I have moved it to the week of Labor Day, and per my previous post, I have the opportunity to purchase a commercial stove which my mother wants me to use to start some sort of baking business, I’m kind of interested in starting a specialty bakery. I’m thinking I need some practice but hopefully I can get into that one day. So I’m thinking the basement might be a decent space to practice in. put up some dry wall, level the floor, run some lights and presto – maybe in home business or at the very least a practice kitchen.

Vacation, ah yes, the supposed down time that turns out to be anything but. But oh to choose the things that wear you out! That is the fun of it! I am very much looking forward to the time off from work. I’m planning on taking Cammy to the Local museum of Transport, the butterfly house, the magic house, Purina farms and the city museum, as well as our weekly trip to the science center. One special trip a day should be great, and still give me the time to paint the rooms and hopefully remove the paint from the wood surfaces I want to re-stain. I’ve just set up rental of a Speedheater Infrared (IR) Paint Remover so I can get my upstairs ready for move in. I am so excited about getting to work up there. I expect that my evenings will be full of home depot and paint fumes. OH the JOY!! I am going to have to cancel my weekend trip to Branson next week, although the rest of my family was very foo foo about going, I was kinda excited. I like Branson with all of its country redneck charm.

But alas I am off to pick paint colors and try to rustle up the know how to knock out a wall. Wish me luck.