just another manic monday

It has been a emotional weekend for me.

Granted I may just be hormonal. But never the less. J and I have been seriously discussing our future plans. How we feel about the way our life has progressed up to this point as a couple and where we would like to be in the future. Most regularly the topic of a second child has come up. My family keeps calling asking if I am pregnant with number 2.

No. I am not.

J asked if I was trying to get pregnant.

No. I am not. And I was kind of insulted he would think that. Glad he would ask if he was thinking it, but still. I barely know how we are going to do the things for Cammy I want to do, let alone how we can swing a second kid. J and I see saw back and forth on this topic daily. We both do want a second child, we both worry that we will be short changing the new child, Cammy and our relationship if we decide to take that step, at least if we take it now. So timetables for when we want to do what and what a second child will mean for our marriage, and relationship separately as well as collectively are being drawn and rehashed and redrawn and reevaluated. Cause this time I don’t think I’ll have the luxury of grandma at home with the baby. So that means day care, and strangers with my kid, and by then Cammy will be in school. So we are talking tuition in addition to day care fees.

Then there is home, and the house, and cars, and work and jobs, and Jerry’s writing, and my art, and countless other things to consider. I tend to forget that J and I are newlyweds. We’ve only been married a year and we don’t get to do a lot of the cute newly married couple things. At least they don’t happen automatically we have to make a concentrated effort to BE newlyweds. And in the midst of being parents we tend to forget to do those things. And another child means risking falling further down the list of priority. We never had a reception, never had a house warming, never celebrated our union with our family and friends. We celebrate each other, which we did very well this weekend I might add, and now with the house renovation underway I worry that we won’t remember the small moments that hold us together.

Funny thing is, I never really wanted the wedding part, I was extremely happy with whisking away to marry even though now, I wish I had done the wedding here just so J’s family could have been more involved. But there are no do-overs, and no guarantees. So I am looking at this house renovation as a chance for us do some bonding together. There is something very comforting about working next to him, pouring over ideas and paint swatches. Building things, our life. I tend to feel confident in our ability to do things around the house because I guess I feel like with him I can do anything. So replacing moldings and sealing brick walls, feels like childs play. You give me a do it your self book and a few videos from DIY TV and I’m tellin you I would be alright installing the new bathroom. He makes me feel that confident that we can do it, I wish I instilled that kind of confidence in him.

Anywho… Grey’s in Four days….

Unsure…

I’m not sure how I feel about the possible switch to word press. I like to change too much too often to be restricted to templates. Shoot if you got photoshop you should use it right? (I’m working on a new blog for me and Jerry and a friend now) so for now – I think I’ll be dual posting at both the wordpress and here. Although that may be a tad bit annoying. It must be done.
At least while I figure out exactly what I want to do for a blog, I’m thinking about using my http://blaquepen.com domain as a base for a full wordpress blog, and not use the one they host. I’m still researching. I’ll let you know how it goes.
Still workin on the house. I need a lamp so I can work after dark. and more time. There is never enough time.

Copa-  I’m with you man, if you need to veg out tonight and watch some greys with us, come on by,
Sarah- you totally rock, your mommyness is inspiring
13 – girl we gon get this party started right
Aeshema/Benticore – I love you.

Spoken – I’m only dual posting for you gyrl…

St. Louis has a taste weekend?

Okay there are few things I love more than Food, and Art, and food as art, and food and music and art.

On Sept 29th and 30th Taste of St. Louis is going down.

Yea!!!!!

I didn’t even know St. Louis had a Taste weekend. I always went or wanted to go  Chicago for the taste the weekend of the 4th. And while Nelly is a Major sponsor, I’m trying to let that bring my opinion of him up, not my opinion of the event down.

One day I’ll have to post my Nelly post.
Cause he totally lost me after that whole Tip Drill video. Totally. And I wonder how he can look at his momma and grandmother, and how they can be okay with something like that. Cause I would BEAT MY SONS ASS, fo real if he did some mess like that. Fo’real, fo’real. If you can’t make a living and respect me and yourself and your community and you daughter (cause he has one) then you need a new job.
Nelly, is a decent guy. I know people who know him, his children, his children’s mothers, his family. They are good people. But being a good person does not excuse you from your responsibility as an role model and presence in the media of Black America, whether that weight is fair or not, it is a part of his role, and his desire to be a celebrity. And running a credit card down a woman’s ass in a music video is disgusting. And a man who would think that is okay for mass media presentation would not be welcome to date my daughter.

Any who  Let me stop before I will have posted that Nelly post after all.

Go to the taste, check out the sight. I’ll be there.

Yea!!!!!

I’m bringing sexy back

What is for you cannot be un-for you
-friend of Chookooloonks

Hi all. Its been a lil while since I really posted – posted. And unfortunately now is not gonna be the time I really get my post on. And I’ve missed ya’ll. Things have been moving along at a rather brisk pace. Working on the house. Working on myself, working on the marriage.
Working on watchin ALL SIX DISCS of Grey’s anatomy.
Yeah baby, life is truckin along.
My kid is talking up a regular storm.  Whole sentences and statements. Repeating everything. I am learning to be very mindful of not only what I say around Cam, but what other people say around her.
I could mention how wonderful my husband is but I can’t have you ladies plotting on stealing my man, he’s that good.
We had to tell a friend that they had to totally clean up the language. She was just too much all the time, and that is just not gonna work for the shortie.
Making plans, following through.
What’s up with you guys? I’ve been reading you all through google reader, and the only down side to using it is that I can’t comment from that screen. So I tend to leave fewer comments – but know that I am there and I am rooting for you!
Anybody hot under the collar about that whole target selling bra type shirts for six year olds?
How about the newly documented pressures of 1st grade? Are we parents doing too much pushing the schools too hard?
I’m on the waiting list for day care, and while I never planned on being one of those parents, I can’t really say that I’m surprised that I am one of those parents.

And while I am screaming for better images for my daughter I am jamming out to Justin Timberlake. Right, no one will take me seriously.

Derrty baaaaaaby… I’ll let you spank me if I misbehaaaaaave…..

I love that song.

Episodes 6-10

Whew. It has been a long week, and I didn’t get everything I wanted to get done, done. Which sucks.
Vacation that didn’t exactly rejuvenate. But just gave me more goals.
Which was a mixed sucking.
I did A LOT of painting. And wood cutting, and spent too much on the painting and wood cutting but hey- gotta do, right?

Lucky me.

But I did spend the week with my kid, which was a mixed blessing. She thought I was staying home for good, she just couldn’t grasp the whole vacation idea, so she threw a monster fit this morning when I left for work.
However I did get a lot of work done. Even if it wasn’t everything I wanted it to be. We got Cammy’s room completely painted, and the molding cut (I just have to attach that one last piece.) her play room is painted, just gotta finish the base boards, and do the accents. I found chalk board paint and magnetic paint. So I got the stuff to make the frames for the walls. Jerry got a lot done as far as the hall way, we did get the whole plaster face removed from the brick wall, and most of the paint removed from the base boards, the rest of that happens tonight cause I have to return that tool tomorrow.
Spent the remaining portion of last night watching Grey Anatomy reruns. A friend go the DVD a bit early and brought us a disk. So we watched all five episodes.

Sweet.

Back to Cammy. We got to do a lot of learning play. We did a lot of flash cards, and numbers and letter work. She is a pro at brushing her teeth, she wants to do it like a zillion times a day, I let her at least three of four times. She’s totally talking way more than before. Asking a ton of questions about everything.
We played at the garden and the park. I think we are gonna make our way to the butterfly house and carousel in the near future. And possibly back to the science center this week.

Pictures of the transformation of the house coming soon.

Tomorrow is Grey Day. The Season two DVD release. I can’t hardly wait to have my OWN copy in my grubby little hands so I can veg out and watch all the extra features and all the extras and all the episodes I didn’t catch the first time around, I’ve already seen two I hadn’t seen before.

I’ve changed because remembering is not enough

It was one of those days where you can measure life in before and after it.
I was just stepping into womanhood before.
I met Jerry after. Had Cammy after.
Life was more complicated before.
After it is easy to cherish every day. Love every moment.
Let down walls, respect people.
Forget stereotypes.
Listen.
Pray.

Love Thursday

the water is ewww…., originally uploaded by raquita.

This is one of the few times I am on this side of the camera and my angel is always with me typically when it happens. so this is my Love thrusday moment.

enjoy!

still running around….

making my vacation count. I’m Bobette vila up in here in the mean time more of my fearless wonderchild…

vacation is a trick statement

imgp7237_edited
Originally uploaded by raquita.

Running around too willy nilly right now – will post soon! Untill then here is my wonder child!

One and one equals

wonder twins
Originally uploaded by raquita.

Friends.

I got a chance to hang with Jaelithe and her wonderful family at the festival we always seem to run into each other at. And what a wonderful family they have.. and they were so together.. once I blog how totally out of it we were you will understand why I was so in awe of a mom who remembers the diaper bad. yeah it was that kind of day.

Issac is a joy to be around. they kind of yin and yang, Cammy is fearless, as J pointed out but issac is more calm, and sometimes calm would be nice. And and a family unit they were jsut the cutiest. Did I mention her husbands shirt was a few levels of awesome.

but Jaelithe is the kind of mom i always aim to be. Thoughtful and so aware of him. her are a few pictures until I can actually blog my long arsed day.